Finding Joy and Contentment in the Ordinary
They say that the pain of child labor completely vanishes once you have that child in your arms, and I can attest, that is true. For sure I remember the pain of labor, healing from a c-section, and other unmentionables, but really, those pains seem so distant once I see that full head of hair,… Continue reading Father Knows Best
Seasons. Possibly my favorite part of our move from Florida to Virginia have been seasons. I didn’t realize how much I missed the variety, the colors, and the smells. I always found it amusing that in Florida we could decorate the front yard with blow up snowmen, fake icicles hanging from the rafters, and sticker… Continue reading Seasons
So with this grieving thing, I am still learning as I go. Having lost before, I can say that this loss is so much different. I heard the quote that said: "What greater grief can there be for mortals than to see their children dead?"~Joan Didion I find this true. I am not belittling anyone… Continue reading One Call
Dear Molly, I thought of you today. I think of you everyday. Every minute, really, as I go about the "normal" things of the day. I say "normal" because really nothing is normal anymore. Since the day you left, my life line was severed and a new one began. Sure, some things are parallel to… Continue reading If I Could Write You in Heaven
I wasn't sure if there was a more perfect baby. I know I should never be partial, but Molly was so peaceful. Only for food would she cry, but once her tummy was full, she was perfectly satisfied. As she grew, her personality began to blossom. She always wished to copy her sister. She had… Continue reading Forever Six
Having been in the bereaved parent circle for a while now, I have come across a number of parents that seem to echo similar flaws in today's society when it comes to grieving, in particular, the grief of a parent. I, myself, have felt many of the same things these parents have. Yet, no matter… Continue reading I Am Your Worst Nightmare
When we moved to Tampa, back in 2007, we knew we hit the jackpot. Warm, sunny weather... check. Tons to do... check. Tropical paradise... double-check. Samantha was only 7 months at the time, so this is all she has ever known. Molly and Clara were both born in the house we live in now. (Well,… Continue reading Left Behind
It's about 1:00 am. I've been up for 20 hours. So you would think it crazy that I sit here in the dining room, in the still of the night, questioning what we went through nine months ago. And yet here I am. Shaken. Traumatized. Unable to sleep. Tears streaming down my cheeks. For the… Continue reading My PTSD
The girls asked to put up the Christmas tree earlier than we normally do this year. They have been eager to see the lights, hang the ornaments, and let's be honest, get some presents. I wasn't so sure. Pulling out all the Christmas boxes wasn't the problem. Neither was putting together the big, heavy tree.… Continue reading Trimming the Tree
The conversations around our house have drastically changed since Molly went to heaven. "What is heaven like? What are they doing in heaven? Do you think there are cockroaches in heaven?" Never before was my mind so heavenly minded. Singing hymns about heaven and hearing the trumpet blow immediately send tears down my cheeks. I… Continue reading Heavenly Minded
