2014 brought many things. More than I ever imagined. Not all of which is linked to Molly’s diagnosis, but mostly. Honestly, I can’t remember much before June 17th this year. It would be a shame not to reflect on the year, looking at the good and bad, and seeing what we can improve on and what we have been blessed with.
So I would like to share, (maybe a little late since it’s already the 3rd) what I have learned in 2014.
1.Closing my eyes to horrific things does NOT make them go away.
I did this often. Seeing others suffering made me uncomfortable, especially if I thought I couldn’t help. So I would turn the other way, scroll faster through my Facebook feed, or try to think of something else. But the reality is, it’s still there. God does no want us to fix it. We can’t fix everything. But a kind word, a smile, and especially praying for someone in need can do so much for the soul…. both theirs and mine.
2.There is NOTHING on my phone more important than what is in front of me.
This hunk of junk is just that. Junk. Yes, it has it’s purpose. Email is nice to keep up with people, as is texting and Facebook. But my kids are going to grow so fast anyway, to add another thing to pull my attention away from them is not worth it. Not to mention that my husband married me so he can see my smile… not my forehead.
3.Messes are way more fun than I thought.
I was always more of a “let’s play a game” kind of Mom. But not when the house needed dusting, or dinner needed to be made. Ha. I laugh when I think about it now. Only because if people saw it on a normal basis their jaw would drop. But when there is Monopoly to be played, rain to be danced in, or pillow fights to be had, I’m in. No one will remember Mom’s always clean laundry room. But they will absolutely remember my awesome dance moves, in particular, the sprinkler. 🙂
4. God prepares the unprepared.
Now looking back, I see so many ways that the Lord was preparing me for what was coming. My time with Him in the mornings has been the best this year. For some miracle, and not of my own will, I was able to get up most days early to hear from Him. And my desire was great. Now, not everyday, but most days. I found the most beautiful treasures in His word. I spoke to Him before the kids rose. And we had quite the conversations. I also began listening to a particular CD back in January that I can see now that every single word is applicable to our lives right now.
5.My strength is not sufficient. But His is.
People can really amaze you when put in a situation of survival. They can do astonishing things to get through. But in this case, the one where the doctors told us that Molly would have an average of 9 months to live, I did not have the strength for that. Who would? But His strength has been enough to get me out of bed, drive everyday for 6 weeks to radiation, watch as they rolled her into OR for neurosurgery, explain to my seven year old why this may be her sister’s last Christmas with us. This is not just something that God gives to people that are stronger. No one is strong enough to deal with these things. He gives us these things so that we learn to fully rely on His strength. And we are.
6.Smiles make the world go round.
I used to think it was gravity. But I am fully sold on the idea that every child, no matter who they are, their smile makes this world a happier, brighter place. I love smiles. And giggles. And tickles. And silly faces. Not always getting to see your own child’s smile will change that for you.
7. Lastly, God is not done.
Seeing what He has accomplished this year, I know He has big things in store for us in 2015. I’m sure there will be some ugly, but as a friend reminded me, there is always beauty in ashes when the Lord is involved. I am excited to see what He will accomplish through our family. And what He plans for our future.