Love is…

Today is a big day. August 24th. We are currently sitting in our Air BNB in NY waiting to get dressed for my nephew’s wedding. Yep, I am THAT old now. Not only is it wedding day, but it is also his parent’s 22nd anniversary. On top of all of that, 21 years ago, Peter asked me to marry him on a dock at the lack. So, yes, there is a lot of love in the air.

I love weddings. I have not been to many in the past few years. I blame covid. I think since 2020, it just seems less common. The reality is, it is probably just the stage of life we are in. In a few years, our girls will hit the age that their friends will start getting married and we will be in attendance for their big days. (Not my girls. Today I just refuse to think of them old enough to do such a thing.)

I heard someone say once that a wedding day is just that, a day, but marriage is a lifetime. We must plan accordingly. That is so true. We put so much emphasis on the dress, the flowers, the venue, and yet how often do we forget the forever?

True love is a marathon, not a sprint. Love is patient and for good reason. When your spouse forgets to pick up the dry cleaning again, or when they snap because they are on 4 hours of sleep, the emphasis on long suffering is strong. But the truth is, it’s what gets us through.

I remember years ago when Peter and I went through the roughest patch of marriage we ever faced. It was around year 10, which I have noticed is a common time for couples to struggle, and boy, were we ever. He left on a deployment for 6 months, me with the 3 little kids, and us with a lack of communication. I was frustrated, lonely, and downright bitter at the man that I said “I do” to. Not until he came home, one mental breakdown, and a whole lot of talking did we realize we wanted to stick with our commitment. Not of just staying married but doing all the things a good marriage consists of.

We wanted the faithfulness, respect, help, and teamwork. We wanted the fun, memories, and laughter. We wanted the love. But until we understood what true love was, we were never going to have it.

I Corinthians 13 is everyone’s go to chapter on love. It is a beautiful testament to what God ordains as the purest form of the most beautiful action. And when I compare it to our marriage, I see we still have a lot of work to do. But we have learned somethings along the way.

Love is long suffering: This is having patience in spite of troubles, especially if they are caused by other people. And let me tell you, I have caused many troubles in Peter’s life. I have yelled, nagged, been cruel, and not taken my position as his partner seriously, but was lazy and apathetic. However, many a time, he stayed by my side and still served me, despite what I really deserved.

Love is kind: When we see one another suffering, perhaps even silently, we come along side one another and bring what is needed, a word of kindness or an act that shows they are worthy in our eyes. Kindness goes such a long way in this world. In fact, I think in relationships it is the most underrated gesture.

Love is humble: We have had to learn to bring ourselves down a couple of notches and admit we don’t know everything. Peter is incredibly intelligent and wise. But on top of that, he can read situations so well. I hated that. Still do sometimes. I want to be right and the better of the two. Humility though, takes us so much farther. We can learn from one another and then together we accomplish the goals we set out to do so much better.

Love is a cheerleader: Bragging on one another is a form of romance that I personally love the most. I want the world to know that I got a good one. He is faithful, loyal, and incredibly intelligent. And to boot, he is an amazing kisser. And in our quiet times, alone, when he doubts himself, pouring confidence into him in the best way to show my love for him.

Love doesn’t quit: If I wrote a list of the hard things we have endured, it would probably be depressing. We joke at times that we feel we have lived triple lifetimes between the two of us. But one thing we knew we could not do during these times was give up. It is just not an option for us. There is too much at stake. Too much that could be lost. Love cannot quit. Love may need to adjust, take a break, reevaluate, but love does not quit.

There is so much more that love is. And though this went much longer than I intended to, I wanted to document my heart on this special day. That way, when we are in the thick of it, which may be soon because we are still traveling and nothing says stress more than not sleeping in your own bed and visiting family, I will know that I am in this for life. With him. Forever.