What I Have Learned With a Boy

Three girls has always been the answer when asked how many kids we have.
Pink and purple have littered every room since about the first day we came home with our first daughter.
We know Polly Pockets, Disney Princesses, gowns, tiaras, and heels.
We have owned thousands of bows, hung dresses hundreds of times, and have even bought a few pair of ballet slippers.
But boys.
Boy, oh, boy.
This is a whole new ballgame.
I thought I had been around enough little guys to know a thing or two about boy life, but I am here to announce that I was not fully equipped to be a boy mom. I surrender. To all you boy moms, you can just laugh at my life lessons.

Things I have learned about being a boy mom:
1. If it can be shot, it will be.
2. You do not know the meaning of loud until you have a boy in an upstairs bedroom.
3. You must educate that peeing outside is only acceptable in the company of other males, not when playing outside with sisters.
4. Jean knees are meant to have holes.
5. Explosion noises are as common as bird tweets.
6. Hunger is a constant state of being when you are a boy.
7. Don’t bend over unless you are willing to be shot in the behind.
8. Laundry will triple.
9. Smells will be more prominent.
10. “Sitting still” is a loose term.
11. A handwritten note may not be legible, but it is worth more than my weight in gold.
12. When deciding on dinner, always include meat… with a side of meat.
13. Farts and all other bathroom humor is what keeps them laughing.
14. Burping the alphabet is considered phonics.
15. Camo anything is acceptable and matches.
16. A house full of boys will test your hearing, patience, and house foundation.
17. The vacuum can and will suck up 18 Legos a day.
18. Even though they say they don’t, all boys need and want a hug.

This list is a small one, but it is simply the truth for the time being.
Life with boys is louder, in constant motion, and the most unexpected delightful thing to come into my life.