It’s no secret that a new life is simply a miracle. When you take God out of it for a moment and just look at the science of it all and all the things that must be in order for that spark to happen and a new life be conceived it’s inconceivable. However, when you add God to it, I find it that much more amazing. A soul, dependent upon the life of their own Mother, hand-picked by God. He selected me to carry my children and I am in awe of that.
Six years ago God introduced me to the last soul I would carry in my womb, Clara.
A peanut of a baby and a true supernatural gift. I almost lost her at week 20. But she was here. She was delivered and simply perfect. I know everyone says that about their babies, but seriously, I have never seen a more beautiful newborn. Round little head. Petite features. Long fingers. A head full of dark hair.
As if her birth was not enough to remind me of who supplies all blessings, God gifted us with another miraculous event that no doubt was orchestrated by him.
I should have died.
I lost so much blood that day that the nurses said it looked like a massacre. 17 units put back into me in the O.R. Seven hours of surgery trying to stop the bleeding. All while Peter waited. Worried. Wondered.
I heard more than one person say that they were shocked I made it out alive. I should have died on that table. But God loves to show His power, compassion, and love. He wants to be praised for His might and power.
I add this picture not to shock, however, I realize that is just what it does. I add it to give you a visual of where I was at. Literally between heaven and earth.
I often wonder why God kept me here. What was His purpose? I have a list of things I could say, but I think in the end it will be a bunch of little things that add up to one big thing: my life.
I wish to live it well. I want to honor God, love others, encourage, laugh, help, and praise. My desire is not to waste it. And I come back to this lesson every time Clara’s birthday comes along.
She is my second chance. She was more than a gift of life. She was a gift of new beginnings.
I’m in love with her. I’m in love with the idea that she will always walk beside me, reminding me to focus on only the important. The fluff of life is so temporal and nonsensical. I want solid. Depth. Value in what I do.
I leave you with my favorite hospital picture.
I love this shot for so many reasons. Sam is worrying about something and checking it with her magnify glass. Molly is being wiggly, loud, and reminding us that she needs to be heard. Clara is being easy-going and sweet. And Peter, wrapping his arms around his family, checking on the newest bundle of joy, holds us together. Just like our Heavenly Father.
Posted June 24, 2016