Sorrow and Joy

We expect every light to be green as we ride to church on Sunday. We expect our spouses to know exactly what we are thinking, all the time. We expect our children to behave. After all, they were taught  the verse that says, “Children, obey your parents…”.

But many times, we are disappointed because what we imagined would be, is not.

I thought many a night how Molly’s last days would play out. I envisioned peace. I envisioned quiet. I envisioned hugs, kisses, and words that needed to be spoken to be spoken freely, even welcomed.

But I have been disappointed. As Molly’s last days approach, peace seems far from her heart. The house is anything but quiet. Sisters compete for attention. Tempers flair as Molly demands to have more to eat. Visitors continue to come to the door.

And the words, that I so desperately wish to whisper in her ear, can not be uttered because she rejects my company.

She’s uncomfortable and tired. She’s scared and anxious. And she is completely and utterly angry with everyone and everything that comes in the room.

So this is our good bye?

How I wish for something so different. Our hearts break as rejection, anger, demands and disappointment swirl around our living room.

It would seem that we should faint from all the emotions, tasks, and needs to attend to, that really no other but a parent can take care of. But somehow, we have strength to get to the next minute. The next hour. And even the next day.

God has given us so many promises, but few bring me comfort at this time. But all I need is one. And He has supplied that for me.

John 16:20 says, “...and ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy.“

Sorrowful seems too small a word to really depict our feelings, but it’s all I’ve got right now. Knowing, though, that after this sorrow, joy will come, well, that is something I can cling to. I HAVE to cling to it. To think of being forever sorrowful seems hopeless.

But that is why Christ came to earth, isn’t it? To offer hope. To bring joy and hope to the entire human race?

Here we stand, on the cusp of tragedy and devastation. And He speaks to our hearts these words. He is not done yet. Joy will follow.